Twice today, while toodling around the internet, I came across ads for something called “mommy calling cards.” Have you heard of these?
No more rummaging through your diaper bag for a scrap piece of paper to jot down a phone number–the easy solution is mommy calling card! After having your own, you’ll wonder how you ever did without!Exchanging information is tough when you’re keeping a watchful eye on your toddler. Mommy calling cards are designed for the business of mommy networking–they’re perfect for organizing playdates, for sitters, lessons, clubs and more.
(I won’t insert a link, for obvious reasons.) I supposed I could be swayed into accepting such a thing, but my initial response is revulsion? Maybe it is the perky graphics and colors, or softly lit profile of a baby face, either way it feels weird to me. Now I’ve been a stay at home mom for 2 years and have done my fair share of mommy groups and playdates. Never have I had the need to hand out a card with my name or my child’s name and phone number. Perhaps it is a more urban trend? Living in a smallish city, I can easily look up a number or eventually just run into the woman at the library or children’s museum. It seems like it is a shallow way of legitimizing the worth of SAHM’s (stay-at-home moms–not a term I really employ too often). Like, “I may not have a paid employment, but I take my job as a mom so seriously that I have business cards and a resume.” The thing that bugs me about the product description above, is the assumption that all moms who take care of their kids full-time are all driven by similar motivations.
My primary reason for quitting my job when my daughter was born wasn’t because I felt I was the best caregiver for her. I decided to stay home because I couldn’t afford to keep my social service job and pay childcare. Being home hasn’t always been the most positive thing for me, particularly for the first year of her life when I was in the throes of post-partum depression. If I entered a playground with my daughter and a bunch of mommies started handing me “mommy cards”, I would probably leave and never go back to that playground. While I still seek connection with other women who have had children, it isn’t because I want to trade tips for fighting ear infections or where the best place is to shop for toddler shoes. I want to talk with women about things that never get discussed on the playground or in the general “mommy war” discourse: yes, it is true, some women are not entirely satisfied, even when they consciously choose to stay home to care for their children.
Honestly it wasn’t until I started making art that I began to feel empowered again. I would rather exchange fabric postcards, sketchbooks or the New York Times art section than a silly card with some baby booties on it. (This may seem a bit funny after that rant, but I happened to order up some actual business cards this week. Since I am making crafts and art to sell, I wanted to have a card to give out and to mail along with my orders…maybe I could get a two sided card with my mommy info on the back?) I am not sure if I’ve just opened a huge can of worms for you dear reader. Feel free to comment, but be gentle…
I saw these business cards featured in Parent’s magazine in 2006 as a plug for vistaprint. I got them (they are free, you just pay shipping). I don’t give them out very often, but they are convenient and since I am not an extrovert they help me open up to other moms. I agree with you that they are an attempt to legitimize my “job” as a sahm, but that was what I needed at the time I ordered them. I had just given birth to my son and I was feeling bad about myself (lack of empowerment). Honestly, blogging makes me feel much better. I should have started blogging earlier.
While not a stay at home mom myself, my partner is – I must say I completely agree. I am terrified of most other moms at the playground and if they started handing my calling cards – it might just put me over the top.